The only person in the world who may not relate to what I’m about to say is maybe Victoria Beckham…or Gisele Bunchen. But if you were born with XX chromosomes there’s bound to be a day every few weeks when you wake up feeling bloated like a hot air balloon. I don’t care if you’re overweight, underweight, or happy weight. Icky I-don’t-have-anything-to-wear-because-I-want-to-hide-in-a-tent days are just one of the joys of being female. Enter the world’s greatest and worst fashion invention: the grey sweatshirt.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s the item your mother tells you to not wear out of the house unless you’re going running, but you can’t help it. It hides the extra few inches you tell yourself got added to your hips overnight because God hates you…not because you stuffed your face with TexMex food the night before. It’s the perfect companion when you just don’t want to slip into something less comfortable to get a few extra looks from the humans with the XY chromosomes. You’ve gone to the store, football games, and the monumental 15th date in it (it means he’s ready to see you looking low maintenance). It may make you look like a gym rat wearing it, but you love it. And by you in this paragraph I mean me.

Shall we see how I can FIMTSO a boring sweatshirt?

Test Item: grey short sleeve sweatshirt from the 2010P collection. Fine, I know Suze Orman would not approve this buy, but I got it on sale. Hmph!

Look 1: This look is basically me in a nutshell: luxe, watered down. The Chanel test item goes over a pair of el cheapo (no, that’s not a brand name….they cost $8) white linen pants I picked up in Hong Kong last century and grey Chanel sandals from 08C. Around my neck is a sheer silk chiffon McQueen scarf, which has been used before in another FIMTSO episode.

Look 2: I’ve often wondered where the line for business casual is drawn. And is it easier for women or men to get away with business attire in this new corporate age? The sweatshirt goes over a Tory Burch navy lawn cotton buttoned down shirt and Gucci grey plaid pants. The grey Louboutins revealed yesterday finish the look (come to think of it, the red pair would be fun with this look, too!):

Look 3: Are you still finding it strange to see a sweatshirt with short sleeves? Does it remind you of the bodybuilders hanging around your gym with their sweatshirt sleeves cut off to show off their guns? But it makes total sense to have one for fair weather that requires creative layering. On days when it’s warm enough to bring out this M Missoni tank dress…

…but still a bit chilly to wear it alone, I’d throw the sweatshirt over it. I slip on some black flip flops and I’m ready to go to the museum or run my errands…